Orientation to Fitting In
Background
Fitting in means dealing with the world as it is, especially taking account of social realities but also including physical realities.
Its importance is reflected in the postulate that fitting in is the primal need of the .
The general requirement for fitting in was explained in the previous section. That Tree dealt with social life generally and social groups more specifically.
Groups are the basic unit of society, not individuals, because they are responsible for maintenance of society and civic life. Groups are both driven by individuals and simultaneously the foundation for personal functioning. They are the context within which all fitting in occurs, and although we choose them as carefully as we can, fitting in is a constant requirement.
Example Groups: A business. A club. An extended family. A project group. A local community.
Even someone averse to groups is unavoidably part of a large group we call society and depends on its laws and institutions.
For social groups, fitting in is developed around the pressure for acceptability. However, as became apparent in examining Q-expansions of other Domains, we must expect to find specific Arenas (i.e. fields or spheres) of social life within groups where fitting in is regularly expected.
There are always 7 Q-Arenas in any particular Domain and while serving the primal need of that Domain, they do so by serving the primal needs of each Primary Domain in some way.
Fitting in Matters
Ubiquity: Whatever group you are part of there are always pressures to fit in. This relates to belonging and feeling comfortable, to participating without constant friction or embarrassment.
Balance: Fitting in is an ongoing balance between authenticity and acceptability. However, ultimately, fitting in is about handling a particular arena within a particular group. So authenticity may need to be replaced by superficiality to achieve goals or remain in the group.
Differences: The analysis to be presented here focuses on arenas that are present (or potentially present) in every social group, small or large. However, in practice, issues will be very different in a family, a work-place, a civic or religious group, a neighbourhood, a circle of friends or wider society.
Failure: Failure means becoming unacceptable. Anything that is unacceptable dies a death, no matter how worthwhile or even essential it may be.
Process: Fitting in is a process that develops over time and calls for activation of diverse elements of functioning, according to the arena. Even if fitting in has reached its maximum potential, social life is dynamic and the effort must be ongoing.
Examples: The issues of fit and efforts to fit in are universally experienced. So you can easily think of examples from at least one or two Arenas.
More
The Importance of Spirit
is not optional: it is a primal need implanted by human evolution.
There is a delicate balance between autonomy and self-interest that drive you to want to make your own decisions, and being acceptable that accords with what others expect and want from you. Of course this can be stressful.
Because it is impossible to rely on your natural tendencies combined with simple intuition, each Arena requires you to superimpose a spirit to guide you in all your dealings. If you accord with the spirit (and follow the structures to be developed here), then you will handle yourself in the situation.
I use the term «spirit» to emphasize that this is more than an attitude or predisposition. Rather it is a largely conscious impersonal guiding force that you must activate to assist you as your proceed to fit in.
The 7 fitting in Arenas are not immediately obvious, and the literature gives no systematic assistance. However, taxonomic principles developed in THEE enquiries have been used as a guide.
This orienting section includes technical explanations of the investigations and complex architectural diagrams. If you wish to skip these, then just visit a brief introduction to the 7 Arenas that have been identified.
Originally posted: 26-Jan-2026
