The Ideal Self

Self Construction

Because the self-concept is constructed, it potentially invites the construction of a much more perfect self to which we can aspire. This perfection is determined by ideals. which are essentially and ideas. Ideals therefore lend themselves to being incorporated within the self-concept developed in the Individual Stage-3

Psychoanalysts have noted that parents get idealized and children identify with that conception of the parent. This provides the basis for the «ego ideal» as part of the «superego» which is the judging element of psychic functioning. With the growth of self-psychology and object-relations theory, an «ideal self» was identified as the counterpart to the «idealized objects» and «the self».

Ideals in Earlier Stages

Ideals can exist prior to this Stage without being a solidifying and strengthening component of the sense of self.

In the Emotional Stage-1, ideals may or may not be important dependent on various factors, but their influence is heavily subject to emotional needs and the desire for approval.

In the Social Stage-2, the presence and effect of ideals will be heavily dependent on the social milieu and important social groups. That is why many businessmen can behave dishonestly or callously at will.

Perfectionism

When we fail and mess up in our lives (perhaps a project goes wrong or a relationship ends), our moods are at risk of heading towards two extremes:

To self-pity where it is exclusively everyone else's fault and we bathe in a sense of our innocence and purity.
To self-flagellation in which we criticize, condemn and beat up on our self, and bathe masochistically in a sense of badness and failure.

Both extremes reflect an absence of a realistic self-concept with an appropriate acceptance of one's weaknesses and mistakes. The ideal here seems to be a perfect self. While perfectionism in relation to tasks may be valuable, perfectionism in relation to the self is harmful. Performance should be assessed in terms of the situation-as-a-whole, not in terms of an idealized self-concept.

Move to Stage-4: Sensory Mode.

Originally posted: 22-Jun-2023.