Stage-2: Social Mode

"Group" here refers to established associations or organisations that were created to endure, and not informal gatherings or ill-defined networks. Permanent communities could also be included, but in practice we participate by becoming members of organisations spawned by the community.

Every established group is defined by its mission i.e. its social values and its core activities, typically referred to in the constitution as aims & objects. Membership is possible if we can actively identify with those values and goals. Simply paying dues or being employed or seeking status—i.e. going through the motions—is insufficient.

Any group is much more than its mission and its various features impact on the sense of self of its members willy-nilly. The group's evolution also shapes the sense of self. This is a two-way street in that an active membership shapes and bolsters the group's identity.

If we can achieve a proper fit with the group by joining and contributing, then its members will welcome us as their comrade. This acceptance by others confirms personal value and supports the sense of self.

Fitting in with the group is a necessity because it automatically generates positive acceptance by other members who themselves get reassured and bolstered.

Groups desire their members to be active and loyal. If you show up, that will be 90% of what is required. But passivity and free-riding does not strengthen the self. You need to regularly volunteer and pitch in enthusiastically.

Making an instrumental contribution simply on instruction or in response to a request is insufficient for self-strengthening. Active identification with a group must lead you into social roles and public activities that draw on your capabilities and interests. That involves investigating options and looking inwards so that you undertake work that genuinely taps into your own qualities.

A suitable persona depends on remaining genuine in the context of group needs and goals. Combined with sensitivity-μ1, it allows you to contribute effectively and get contributions or assistance from others easily. Official roles may be less significant for the self than informal roles like helper, humorist, mediator &c. Crafted personas are also needed to handle formal roles.

You must develop a stable way of presenting yourself in dealings with others, because emotional appeals are usually inappropriate and ventilation of emotions counterproductive. So the persona is not a false structure. It is the acceptable and constructive way of meshing and managing emotions in tricky social situations.

Groups depend on their membership as a whole, but they are more powerful than any particular member. Once you have chosen to become a member, you must adapt to the way the group functions and the pressures that affect it.

The group's conventions and cultural norms, mostly unwritten, control attitudes and associated behaviours. Acceptance, approval and use of these conventions is a powerful expression of your membership. Conforming to group norms has an additional benefit in that it serves to tame emotional variability and volatility.

Conformity to conventions, like the persona, must come to feel natural. Some minor leeway is tolerated, but you cannot stay in any group if the conventions seem too alien and you cannot uphold them. Ignoring conventions will, in any case, lead to your extrusion regardless of your contributions or likeability.

A major aspect of group life are the debates and discussions about rules, policies and plans, tactics and decisions. You need to join in these debates, and push your own personal views.

Other members, with their own interests, qualities and preferences, will do likewise. Your views may not always influence group operations, but once decisions are made, then you must accept them. That means adapting and working to forward them.

If you make active efforts to understand and embrace the group's values and goals, then you can take responsibility. Being responsible is more than just discharging a given task or role. It applies to any group activity, to attendance at group functions, and committee work. Actively taking and handling responsibility will encourage members to distinguish you by a flow of approval, occasions of public gratitude, respect for your efforts, and the assigning of additional duties.

From the inside there is still only «a sense of a self» rather than a fixed inner state which could be called «an (enduring) self». One might say there is a «social self» defined by convenient identifications and based on current ideas in the relevant groups. But what is convenient alters and ideas change.

A group may vanish altogether as the social environment evolves or due to internal troubles. But that is not necessarily a problem because you will find another group which is congenial and offers similar benefits from a selfish perspective.

If you settle at Stage-2, you will be prepared to serve as an agent or instrument for others or for groups. You may well feel it appropriate to abandon a group for practical reasons or personal advancement. An example that often shocks is the politician who switches party allegiance for personal advancement. Such seeming disloyalty can disturb relationships, even if it is not felt as an issue for the person.

You cannot move to a Mode based on Sensory being (L'1) because the superficiality here does not provide for self-strengthening or protection. Once again, you cannot move to the outer circle (Vital-L'2, Transpersonal-L7, Relational-L'5) because, as methods, they were under personal auspices, which demands a solidified self that has not yet been developed.

Remember: the focus here is on modes for individualizing, not on methods for stabilization.