Ventilation to a Confidante
Epitome
Emotional ventilation to a confidante epitomizes the primordial in the . The ventilating experience alleviates stress and is gratifying in a way that is typical of all self-expression. The wish or rather need for ventilation flows from , and gives an experience of closeness and an opportunity to receive approval.
The confidante is a person who has been selected and valued because they are ready to listen sympathetically. The confidante role is therefore a complement to the ventilating role. In a healthy relationship, two people will exchange such roles i.e. each confides in the other about their deepest feelings.
Ventilation is always a genuine expression of feelings, which involves what is liked or loved and/or what is disliked or hated about a third party or an event or situation. It is not necessarily about negative emotions. It may follow a frustration or some indignity or injustice, so as to seek soothing and consolation. But it may also be about sharing an important or strange event, an achievement or a setback. There is a wish for interest, a sympathetic reaction, and sometimes reassuring feedback or perhaps congratulations.
Benefits
Ventilation helps primarily through its sustenance of the , without which we cannot function. A person who has not progressed beyond this must ventilate in order to exist. Expressing feelings is therefore accompanied by a sense of entitlement and even urgency.
Venting usually helps in reducing the physiological tensions and physical agitation associated with emotions. Clearing out emotions then permits reflection and rational thought.
Being present in the face of another's intense emotion, however close to them you may feel, is intrinsically stressful. There is often an urge to receive and merge i.e. contain the emotion. But there may also be an urge to escape and switch off if other stresses are in play, or when the ventilation is unexpected or judged inappropriate.
Partners in a relationship settled at need to organize their time and space to enable mutual ventilation without disruption to daily living.
Excess & Degeneration
Components of Spiral Modes are always beneficial, but they generally have the danger of being used excessively and degenerating into dysfunction. Ventilation is typical in this regard.
Taken too far, it appears as 'dumping' on someone. Ventilation may turn into histrionic self-agitation. The problem with working oneself up like this is that it reduces the capacity for clear thought and sensible decision-making.
The greatest danger lies with negative feelings, where self-expression may become confrontational or even abusive. If directed towards a person seen as the cause, this will likely be experienced as a criticism or an attack. Given the likelihood of a defensive response, a shouting match may ensue, leading perhaps to physical violence.
With positive feelings, venting can lead to excessive excitement, over-enthusiastic agreement and commitment beyond what the situation realistically permits.
- Move to Stage-2: Social Mode.
Originally posted: 4-Jan-2016